The Visitor II
by Suisan
Summary: Once more, Don Eppes bumps into a man dressed in black and this time.... [Crossover]


Disclaimer: Standard stuff here; I don't own them, just taking the Eppes Brothers out for a little spin. Numb3rs is the result of the very creative minds of Cheryl Heuton and Nicholas Falacci; ScottFree Productions and CBS Television. Columbia Pictures, Lowell Cunningham and Sandy Curruthers, Ed Soloman, Malibu Comics and a few others I can't recall own the 'rights' to the other people mentioned in this story.

Thanks to Anna for letting bounce this story idea off her, and thanks to Besterette (you should know 'why' fairly fast). EG Thanks also go to RuthFL and Ceci for giving this a fast once-over in BetaMode.

Permission granted to Tonya to archive at the CalSci Library webpage.

The Visitor II

By: Suisan

22 May 2006

Synopsis: Don has yet another run-in with a man dressed in black and this time … EG

"Listen, L'w'rnc, Director Kaye was nice enough to drop off the applications of visa extensions for you when he was last here. It's not my fault you misplaced them in this excuse for an office! Now, come on, you know the routine ... drop 'guise and give me--" 

He was going to say 'the required samples' but just at that moment, Jay spotted movement out of the corner of his eye, and tried to block the fast moving, middle aged, but physically fit human from seeing L'w'rnc out of his human 'skin' ... but from the look on the fella's face, it was too late. 

"Larr-- What the...!!" Was all the man had time to say before the Neuralizer flashed in Jay's hand.

"Damn! Why didn't you tell me you were expecting company, L'w'rnc?" Jay turned his attention back to the Resident Alien, who was busy pulling his human suit back into place.

"Because I wasn't expecting any? Don must be trying to track down his brother." L'w'rnc Fl'n'hdt, Larry Fleinhardt in his human persona, finished pulling his disguise over his fully body and knelt beside the fallen, totally unaware, but conscious man.

"Whoa, hold it! 'Don?' As in Special Agent _Don_ Eppes? As in the older brother to one Doctor Charles Eppes?"

"Yes."

"Oh Crap!" Jay fished out his communications device and spoke an immediate, if someone clipped, request. "Communicator, Kaye, Emergency Alpha-One-FuckUp!" He tried, but failed, to ignore L'w'rnc's laughter as the now human-looking worm twitched on the floor.

"Jay? What's with the non-official codicil on the emergency code?"

"Ran into a bit of a problem, Boss."

"What, L'w'rnc went into his quarter-century love-lust cycle unexpectedly and you didn't want to break up the party?"

"I wish it were that easy …. Kaye, I just had to Flashy-Thing Agent Eppes."

"Give me a Sit-Rep." Jay relaxed as Director Kaye went into full-blown professional mode and explained what had led to the neuralizing incident of one Special Agent Don Eppes. He fully expected to get a full ream job when he got back to MIB HQ, but for now, he'd be willing to settle for a verbal, if somewhat acidic, scolding.

"Let me pull up our records on Agent Eppes… okay, we're still in the safe zone, but just barely. Give him a shot of lullaby, that'll put him to sleep for a solid hour and you can do what you need to with L'w'rnc before he wakes up. But under NO circumstance are you to neutralize Agent Eppes again. Got that?"

"Got it." Jay closed down the communicator and turned to L'w'rnc, who'd finally gotten himself under control and was lifting, single-handedly at that, the neuralized agent unto the couch in the crammed office space. "You worm-dudes are certainly strong bastards, even in your youthful state."

"We don't reach full maturity until we dull our sex drives, then the energy we usually sink into procreating goes into our growth cycle and ... well, you know, don't you Agent Jay?"

"All too well. Your youngest siblings like to wreck the customs shop, usually chasing anything remotely female, on a regular basis … though they were somewhat useful back when Serlena tried to destroy the MIB headquarters."

"Yes, yes, they told me all about their 'rumbo' adventures in the air vents."

"'_Ram_bo,' L'w'rnc. You find those extension documents yet?"

L'w'rnc shuffled off toward his desk and rummaged through the stacks, messy stacks, of papers while Jay prepped the lullaby and then gave the stunned Agent Eppes the shot that would keep him docile and ready to reprogram for a full 60 minutes.

"Ah-ha!" Jay looked up to see L'w'rnc move a Hubble Space Telescope photo of the Horsehead Nebula - his real home - up off the corkboard and waving a document chip in his hand. "I knew I had put it somewhere safe!"

"Great, L'w'rnc, just great. Let's get on with the renewal process on your Resident ID before Eppes here wakes up. Unsuit … after I lock your office door … and register the required biological samples in their proper place on the disc." Jay moved to the door as the fully adult worm-dude made to comply, but not before Jay spotted the pout on the human-like face. "What?!"

"You're not going to watch me submit the samples?"

"Eeew! No! I'm not that kind of man! Just get on with it!"

Jay checked Agent Eppes' pulse point one more time, assured the man was still under the double influence of the Neuralizer and the lullaby. He was still somewhat incoherent, but L'w'rnc was taking his sweet time in submitting the 59 required genetic samples, being ultra precise in their placement on the registry disc, and Jay was losing his patience.

"Look, Slimeworm, are you about done? You heard Kaye, I cannot neutralize this man again without risking the side effects. I mean, do you know how many times a human can be neuralized before side effects start to accumulate and the subject ends up with lost time episodes?"

"Actually, yes. Approximately 998 times in the average life-span of a human male, 1008 in a human female."

"Great. And would you care to guess how many times Agent Eppes has been neuralized?"

"Oh my! Really? I never knew! How utterly fascinating!"

"Yeah, fascinating, and the poor man doesn't even know it … and I'd like to keep it that way. Damn! Are. You. Done. Yet?"

"Just now finished." L'w'rnc slithered back into his human-guise after handing Jay the registry disc. "You know, Charles is working on a new project that might just help negate those nasty side-effects of the neuralizers on your race of beings."

"Excuse me?"

"Doctor Eppes, that brilliant young mind I've been permitted to foster along, is working on a cognitive emergence theory. He's just started, but I can tell his work is heading the right direction. It is so wonderful to see such a mind come to fruition in the human race…"

"Really? Have you told Director Kaye any of this yet?"

"Oh no! Not yet! Charles is still in the very early stages, it'll take him at least another 10, maybe 15, Terrannic years before he's close enough to turn the data over for further development by non-mathematical professionals."

"Give me what you can in a mind-dump file. I'm sure Kaye would like to tab the work for future review." He stopped talking as Don Eppes started to stir, ever so slightly, on the couch. "Okay, show time! Keep your mouth shut, L'w'rnc or I will have a little talk with the other FBI Agent you've been seen around town with. So help me, you so much as let out a pip, I'll tell HER what you really are and squash your romantic, slimy, unnatural wormy thoughts right in the keister."

"But humans and my kind are actually compatible! She's really nice and she likes how smooth my car is, especially the backseat…"

"Eeergh! L'w'rnc!" Jay didn't even try to suppress the shudder that ran through his body. "I did NOT need to have that image in my head!" Glaring at the alien, using non-verbal communication to keep the Worm quiet, Jay turned his attention to Agent Eppes.

"Okay, Don, here's how it is … you came into Fleinhardt's office, looking for your brother, but decided to sit down on the couch and rest a bit. It's been a long-ass day for you at the office and while you didn't mean to, you fell asleep for about an hour. You're going to wake up feeling refreshed, but a little embarrassed that you crashed on Larry's couch. Other than that, it's been pretty much a normal day for you and you're going to go home, maybe go to Charlie's home, and have a nice, relaxing dinner with your family before retiring for the night. Got that?" He waited anxiously until the agent, now sitting up on the couch, nodded his head. "Great! See ya around Eppes. Lawrence, keep your eye on him and his brother and just watch your step with Agent Reeves, or I'll come back here and revoke your residency card. You got me?"

"Yeah, yeah. You'd better go, you've got less than a minute to clear out of here before Don here becomes aware again." L'w'rnc handed over a small, almost crystalline, sphere to the MIB Agent. "My recollections of Charles' work is on the crysst - don't lose it."

Jay nodded, slipped his sunglasses back on and slipped out the office of Doctor Lawrence Fleinhardt.

Don was aware of a hand on his shoulder, gently shaking his body as he slowly became aware of his surroundings. Looking up past the hand, he found Larry Fleinhardt gazing down on him, concern flooding the professor's unusually expressive face. "Don? You awake now?"

"Yeah. Sorry about that, Larry. I came in here looking for Charlie, sat down for a moment and must've dozed off."

"Quite all right. You probably needed the sleep. Charles has told me, very briefly, about the latest case that dropped on your lap--"

Don couldn't resist teasing the older man. "Just Charlie, Larry, or has Megan been complaining about the hours we've been putting in on the case as well?" He shouldn't tweak the man, he was a good friend and a brilliant scientist who kept Charlie from getting lost in the equations when the FBI - and Don - needed his head in the game, but the did so enjoy watching a man of Larry's years blush like an errant teenager.

"Ah, well, it has been a wee frustrating having to reschedule… that is to say-- Oh! Don Eppes, you are a wicked, wicked mind!"

"Thanks. Just wish I could remember what I dreamt about … I know it was kind of weird - in a very odd way - I can usually recall my dreams, but this one's already fading."

"Maybe I can help? You were muttering something about worms with feet and too many arms when I found you on my couch?"

Don thought about that, and the conversation he'd had with Charlie months ago sprang to his mind. "No clue. Probably wasn't important. Charlie's been telling me to lay off the sci-fi movies and late night pizza runs, maybe it's finally catching up with me."

"Perhaps, but don't totally discount those movies, Don. I get the impression that some of the writers in that genre are closer to the truth than even they'd believe."

"I think you're probably right, Larry. As large as the galaxy is, heck the universe, I seriously doubt that humans are the only intelligent life in space." Don stood up from his spot on the couch, feeling like he hadn't moved in ages, and stretched to work out the kinks in his back. "I should be going. Do you know if Charlie's back in his office?"

Larry shook his head. "No, I think I saw him head off campus toward home - on his bicycle of course - around the time I entered the building."

Don let out a sigh, he'd been hoping to catch his brother on campus so he could go straight to his apartment and crash into bed, but now he'd have to drop the compact CD off at the house. "Okay, thanks, Larry. And sorry for falling asleep in your office."

"No problem, you're not the first Eppes to crash on that couch for a quick nap, I doubt you'll be the last. But, next time, you might want to sit on the left side, the springs on the right and in the center are a little worn."

"Now you tell me." Don winced as one of his vertebrae finally popped and the tension in his back released. "I'd better hurry over to Charlie's or I'll be fighting the traffic all the way. See ya, Larry!"

Jay waited as Kaye finished scanning the crysst disc L'w'rnc the Worm had handed off to him, the one about Doctor Eppes' work on Convergence, or whatever the hell the worm had talked about.

"This is, as L'w'rnc said, fascinating prelim work, Jay. But I cannot authorize you, or even anyone else in the MIB, to contact Doctor Eppes directly and ask him to focus his work on the side effects of the Neuralizers. Not yet."

"Are you sure we can't just send a team to the man's house, hook him up to a crysst disc and download what he's got and extrapolate from it? According to the files, we've done it before … Tesla, Einstein, Heisenberg, and even Doctor Kaku with no ill affects on the subjects."

"Actually, No. Jay, you have to understand, Doctor Eppes' brain is already a finely tuned and very delicate machine. We've been warned, more than once since he was discovered to be a math genius, that we're NEVER to Neuralize him. EVER. He's too valuable a resource for this entire arm of the Milky Way Galaxy."

Jay sat back in the chair across from Kaye's desk and thought about what his boss had just NOT told him.

"Uh, huh. Right. Okay, so which alien race made the gigantic mistake of tweaking Mr. and Mrs. Eppes' germ plasm into producing Mister Universe?"

He didn't expect Kaye to say anything, but the man's surprised expression went a long way to confirm in Jay's mind that he was close to the truth with the flippant remark.

"That, Slick, is classified as a Need To Know secret, and you don't have a need to know."

END


End file.
